Today I started a new rotation: anesthesia. Well, I have a bad case of senioritis...in that I don't have the energy or will to go crazy reading up and reviewing on my upcoming rotations. Not to mention, there just isn't time to even if I wanted to. Today was a combination of a lot of internalized stress coupled with laughing at myself. On this rotation, students come up with anesthetic drug protocols, get them approved, learn how to monitor patients under anesthesia, and have to learn how to deal with the "expected unexpected's" of general anesthesia (sudden drops in blood pressure, arrythmias, arrest, etc.). We also practice placing catheters and administering drugs. Well today I had to anesthetize a kitten who was getting castrated (check out the slide show at that link!). I have only gone through all these steps of getting an animal anesthetized once before in my life, and let's just say I didn't review that process before I arrived at school today. Between getting grilled about drugs, physically anesthetizing the patient (placing a catheter, injecting drugs, sticking a tube down the cat's trachea), and dealing with a ridiculous anesthesia chart that we have to plot our readings on every five minutes, I was stressin' hardcore on the inside...it was almost laughable...like one of those "holy sh#t I don't know what I'm doing" moments. Not that these things are even necessarily difficult, but in concert, when they pile up, and you're not 100% sure about any of them, then it gets bad. Great thing that I'm a student and that I was being supervised and told what to do the entire time! I realize a lot of this stress is because I bring it onto myself (hello type A personality), but I think vet school had taken its toll on me and even I can attempt to take a step back and laugh at how lost I can feel in my stress! The good news: tomorrow is a new day and I can do it all over again! Maybe by the end of the next two weeks I'll get a grip and become a great anesthetist...Phhew...it was really therapeutic blogging this all out.
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